You don’t know
How much I’ve loved you
How I’ve yearned for you
And held the thought of you
How many times
I’ve hugged my pillow through the night
Wishing it was you
Wishing I could share my life with you
Wishing it was me you loved
Knowing my love was dissipating
Wasting me away in loneliness
Sorrow and love going hand in hand.
You don’t know
How much I wanted my pillow to be
Flesh and bone and energy of you.
How my love flowed to a dream
To dissipate like smoke
How my hands searched my empty bed
When in my dreams I felt your presence
How my dreams filled my mind
But my body ached with emptiness.
You don’t know
How it hurt me when you told me
You weren’t mine
When my presence
Wasn’t desired by you
Every time I saw you
I felt the dagger of my love
Pierce my heart
Spending my life’s blood
In the knowledge that I’d never have you.
You don’t know
That I returned to my empty bed
Crying over you
Knowing your focus was moving on
And I was alone
Haunted by your energy with me
And the thought of how close you’d been
Remembering a moment when I felt
My natural love flowing to you
And meeting it’s mark.
Occasionally I even felt
Your love flowing to me, too
For a moment, before
I turned and left you
My heart splitting
Wanting to stay
My mind knowing
This is all there is for me
A moment – that is over now.
You don’t know
How my empty bed is filled with love for you
How every night I long to dream of you
How day by day – year by year
My life force slips away
While I pine for you.
Or do you?
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